sunset glare

comprehending new horizons might be like looking over the edge of a cliff.

that wont hurt as much as an awkward nights sleep on the couch

but still, it's somewhere in between, like bed bugs

Cold sores, demons. bug bites, pimples.

your struggle painting 

with the detail of a artist.

i wont believe what you heard

and i don't want to hear what I said.

two sluggers just swinging

taunting exhaustion, 

and ignorantly brushing away the good.

I can tell I am sailing into a dark realm.

but i can't steer away

i love you 

but this is for everyone to see.

prying eyes shaking hands..no sleep. no smiles.

you'd have to know

How quickly and frantically my fingers are trying to fix myself, typing resolution, and absolution.
All with no avail
If we love ourselves, clap you hands. If you want to go home, change your mind.

Let me get stoned really quick, then I'll tell you what's on my mind.

well....pain...
discomfort
disease
disconnected
dis
dis
dis

i think you're sleeping well
i wonder if there are drying tears on your cheeks
i wonder if you're dreaming about my suggestions.....deprecated or not.
i was born alone, and i cant get away from myself.
hows this going to work?
killing expectation
yet in turn being killed by a serious 12 pack of ice cold self righteousness..
my own doing, metaphorical suicide.
i told myself i would never try to kill myself again....
but i forgot to tell my subconscious.

dark seas.

sweat

Ever since you, I worry about my sweat

I worry you might find out that I do.

I worry that you might stay with me

and everything I try to accomplish

It's not fair, seeing love and watching it burst and flutter to the ground

i was pulling for it, and trying quite too much

but as usual, I came to my own party, and killed the vibe.

That's all I know,destruction, desolation, and fleeting/failing recovery.

I don't know what you do,

I don't know what you enjoy

I don't know who you like

I guess I was yelling, when I thought I was whimpering.

this is what you wanted, i can't remember what confidence feels like
my tires are deflated
and my frame is bent
this is what i wanted.

this is what we wanted, i can't remember what we said
your eyes are heavy
your heart is low
am i what you wanted?

i can't help my demons.
i can't hide them either
i can't disguise them
and i wont deny them

my road map is malicious, it wants me to go south.
for some reason, I have been following this bliss.
I want to know if I am enough
even when i'm too much

our time is coming, the sun setting quick
the chill is settling, and my bones are ready to quiver
my heart will stay dormant because i'm sick of giving it away
to
these
people.

because i will make you hate me

I thought i was a lover, but my fighter is in it to win it, repeatedly swinging at an already bled out corpse.
i will kill my dreams, and bury them far beneath.
no i wont tell you where they are located, you inadvertently assisted in their burial

all those things you cant take back, all those crashes you can't make happen.
if you want to stop, just tell me, tell me i am the worst of the best

tonight i tried to commit relationship suicide. and you held my hand
we're bleeding slow, but slow enough to save ourselves.
i just dont see it

I dont know if i want it, I am filled with bed bugs, and why would you?
If i am such a dark cloud ready to rain on your picnic, shouldn't you head for shelter?
there is none here.
i burned it down after you had nothing else to learn from me

and no, i did not say that first.
this is our ending, writing its pathetic self.