eight- fifty three

waking up is the worst thing ever...going to sleep is a wash...
I feel like i am withdrawing from drugs...
there are no campaigns in society`
warning people of this pain.
it is quite dangerous how deeply humans become entangled
or maybe how we think we do.

I don't I ever want to be in love again....
have you ever thought about that?
are you happy with your self?
and who sleeps next to you?

these doubts that captain my ship
only directions seems to point to mundane,
salt injects the memories with immortality
and places them in the pantheon of my achievements.
kind of like, if i don't try
then I won't ever forget.

but...
things are starting to move,
maybe not fluid like
but...
I am still breathing,
and over thinking.

for today though, I will promise myself
smooth seas make not a skilled sailor
internal or otherwise.











i am trying not to drink coffee as much but it is hard....and delicious....and comforting.

the surf has been crap for a week as far as i have seen....so no surfing....

lots of drums..