help is on the way...

how do you do it? see what you want? visual commands that are your friends
experience from running up escalators and falling down elevator shafts
I want to see the worth, and I want to see the value
but everywhere I look my mind is caressed with a slap...
the empty gut feeling of demise, and looming balance.

I'm the mountaineer who chooses descent to dissolve.
the full bodied feeling of not coming back...
and these places I've been contain parts of me
leaving me to feel incomplete and outdated
make it love, make it fear, distill your brain
and make it clear.

caring is all I have anymore, silhouetted by fear,
founded, steeped and cultivated in the garden of return.
if it's been nearly three decades and the party seems dull
then have another robust sip
and hop into the car bound for salvation.

coordinate the heights, and the certain choice,
this act will leave me floating high above any negativity
higher than reason, higher than rhyme
softly descending to a blank stare
and a trail of blood escaping from my smile.