you didn't approve

life is good isnt it......huge smiles, and nicotine stained teeth.
staying with the phrase cool has never been so easy...
your blue eyes stir so much resent and wonder,
who was i? and who was i becoming
you did me a favor disguised in heart break.
teen angst heart break....
i couldnt imagine actually having you then losing you....
or just losing my mind...
you are way to far off my radar to fly next too.
see in you
what i wanted in myself
direction, purpose, meaning...
you were my direction, purpose and meaning
how many other ways could i have shown you i am real....
you can grab my clamey hand and feel my pulse...
is that was scares you.
a person with something inside, to which you measure your abilities...
WHY DO I STILL THINK OF YOU
i guess this if life...
reviewing what we had, not what is in front of us...
because what i have is love,
no matter what the hundred different people inside me say
"you can do better"
what is better, and how do you do it?
today i have love
maybe not all directed at one person or object
but scattered throughout the valleys of my excistence
so today i will be greatful for that!

lonely for life

tehe

ill teach you to laugh at something thats funny
Is it funny or is it just right?
you can be right, or you can be happy
in your case happiness is being right
but what do you want
ha ha...ha ha
you're right i am arrogant and selfish...
sorry...but so is everybody....
its those who choose to let that person flourish who ultimately lose.
you smiled...im off the hook...
expression is evidence in your trial...
guilty as charged.
Lets read that letter i wrote you now,
oh my god, he really does love me...
too bad he is imaginary
this is why we should hate kids
this is the crisis we have been warned about.

missle test

living in your dreams

and not living your dreams.

there is a difference, to those who care to see...
you can say it is right, but the fool is yourself.
every decible that climbs through my ear canal
shows me the fine print in this contract i signed
this never ending debt i owe,
will my shoulders ever loosen up
it is weird when the imaginary weight on your shoulders
takes form and sets up shop.
constantly strained until the blood cannot pass.

after i fall to my knees,
give me the courtesy of a quick death

then on to the next..

you can speak for me,
can i not do the same for you?


here is what i would say..

im scared, and alone...please help me

fear masters

you are your fear, and you are your rage
and i dont have to
force my hand along with yours and find what you're afraid of.
sitting in your favorite spot,
drinking out of your favorite glass..
you can't hide
but you can yell
as loud as you fucking please
and what strikes me the most
is how i can't hear you anymore
i am deaf to your screams
you have cried wolf.....a lot..
but keep it up, the louder you yell,
the more i understand?
sure, you're always right anyway.