> than anxious

my midlife nerves are beginning to calm
not drastically, but any change in a raging river is always felt.
maybe the snowpack wasn't what the winter usually promises
maybe i don't rely on one source anymore
maybe i'm just dying... who knows
as these pressures begin to lose their steam
my mind wanders to the farthest corner
of what a future could look like.
forget usual colors. not even the blends
these thoughts are of the pure escape
a desolation of memories, and even loose ties
the tide keeps things at bay, and i do too.