shup

I

am okay with it

dream cleaver

its like looking at the earth, and just knowing you're lucky to be here

its like looking at the sky and being able to breathe her

its like looking at destruction and seeing constructive 

its like knowing it's cold and wearing less 

to feel more

i used to put images in my head

called expectations

now i put challenges in my head

called obligations

those days

these days i am content to keep quiet, like a fed cat, or a dog nap
you'll never hear much from me from these days.
i do look around and wonder where I am
but these days i smile at an unfamiliar location.
my side feels more full,  and my bed welcomes me too.
cold mornings give warm moments structure
the kind you can build over.

a lack of focus creates a kalidescope of possibility
once my mind let it's latin walls crumble.
maybe this is my chance, the moment of solitude
when my writing is directed at no one,
and not even me.

alternate realities

i am myself...too serious

i dont know what relief would look like.
maybe never remembering, or just keeping a low profile
less eyes that pry, less smiles
to swat like flies.
i noticed your message, and it speaks with scarred tones
your foray back into it. pulsing veins and first times all over
new breath and paces, the new gentle. my conquered lands.
a moment over too soon, on this end at least, one thing,
i hope we can't share. you never seemed scared. just unsure

well ill say it for the death of saying it
i have never experienced personal success of life like that
i have never felt so many things
and now theyre sooty dreams
i have to relearn to relearn to not learn.
i hope one day i can articulate that sinking feeling inside of me.

like a loaf of bread not proofed
but still rising
a shake like a shiver
but alone like a flame
worse than an eight foot canyon set
squirming like an above the earthworm.
shivering in the shower, and sweating in the sea

im a fish running with line
im the salt water i am fighting to stay in
im the pescadore and the oven at home.

the occasional offering

these days im more likely to medicate
than to articulate