Where I stand (so small)

I am sitting and waiting for this huge experience to reach temperature within me
I know it's coming, the smiles have debts
the memories have late fee notices
I am behind on my payments

I know it's coming,
patiently just waiting for the right song
or thought

To begin the cascade of release,
a final salute to the news of the day
the headlines scream about the loss of subscribers
but one in particular

While the cigarettes in my pocket
laugh at my feeble attempts of an old self
to wake up to a new horizons