curses

there is a fierce pressing on the keys
when desperation is the left over emotion
a serious chance to exude
and a last moment for closure
one that eludes me...even to the early hours

a smile that keeps me exposed
in limbo, floating, and rag dolled, all at once.
a given up, hopeless kind of word

ill go running and know you're not watching
and go typing and know you're not reading

my heart was always a commodity
and upon which
rely gains and losses....

from which i emerge....economic in nature.
yet biologically stunted,
unsuitable for markets
and showing no profits...

this is when dissolving might be the best choice,
yet no matter where i go, or look....
your face can haunt me in the most lonely of place/
and remind me that I have lived...once upon a time.